Why Become a Foster Carer? Marlene’s Story of Purpose, Flexibility and Heart
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Why Become a Foster Carer?
For many people, it starts as a small thought. A feeling that you could offer more. A sense that your home, your time, and your heart could make a difference. For Marlene, that feeling became a life-changing decision.
In this episode of On the Sofa with Sal, we sat down with one of our wonderful Apex carers to talk honestly about why she chose fostering, what it’s really like, and why she hasn’t looked back.
“I Just Knew It Was Time for a Change”
Before fostering, Marlene worked as a lifestyle coordinator in a nursing home. Her role was all about dignity, care, and ensuring people’s needs were met.
“I had to make sure everyone was dressed nicely, felt good, and had activities. It was about their wellbeing.”
But after completing a qualification and reflecting on the next stage of her life, something shifted.
Her own children had grown up. She had space. She had experience. And she wanted something more meaningful.
That’s when fostering became more than an idea.
Why Become a Foster Carer Instead of Traditional Work?
When we asked Marlene why she chose fostering instead of returning to a traditional full-time job, her answer was simple.
“I have more time for myself. I’m working with the children, but I have flexibility. We can go out at weekends. I can dress my children up, we go places. I’m having fun too.”
Fostering gave her:
• Greater flexibility
• Financial stability
• Purpose
• The ability to be present
She was honest about income too. Children need clothing, food, experiences and stability. When asked whether she would earn the same in traditional employment, she quickly said: “No.”
For Marlene, fostering created a better lifestyle while allowing her to change lives.
That balance matters.
“They’re Not Bad Children”
One of the biggest questions people ask when considering fostering is: what about challenging behaviour?
Marlene has supported children who have run away at night. Children who struggled with routines. Children carrying trauma. But her approach is grounded in understanding.
“They’re not bad children. It’s their circumstances. Because of the training, you understand where they come from.”
This is where foster carer support in the UK becomes vital. At Apex, training prepares carers to see behaviour through a trauma-informed lens. Instead of reacting, Marlene reflects.
Reflection Over Reaction
When things feel difficult, Marlene leans into reflective practice.
“If a child does something, I reflect. How can I change this? What can I do differently?”
Sometimes that means distraction. Sometimes it means reassurance. Sometimes it means simply staying calm.
“You let them know they’re safe. Nobody here will hurt them.”
It’s patience. It’s love. It’s being willing to learn. Those, she says, are the three qualities every foster carer needs.
Can You Foster on Your Own?
Absolutely.
Marlene has cared for a sibling group of three children as a single carer.
“Of course you can do it. Children make me happy.”
Fostering is not about perfection. It’s about commitment, reflection and support. Being part of a network of carers who share experiences makes all the difference.
“For me, fostering is like a network.”
That sense of community protects carers from feeling isolated or overwhelmed.
Thinking of Transferring Fostering Agency?
Although it wasn’t the main reason she began fostering, Marlene did later make the decision to move agencies.
Her experience of transferring fostering agency was straightforward and positive.
“It was easy. I’m very happy.”
She described the difference as feeling known. Supported. Part of a team.
At her previous agency, she only knew her social workers. At Apex, she feels at home.
That feeling of belonging matters. Especially in a role as emotionally demanding as fostering.
Why Become a Foster Carer? Because Children Need Us
Marlene put it beautifully:
“There are plenty of children who need help. They are the future. If we give up on them, we make it bad for ourselves.”
Fostering isn’t always easy. There are difficult days. There are behaviours that test your patience. But there is also:
• Growth
• Stability
• Laughter
• School attendance improving
• Confidence building
• A child finally feeling safe
And perhaps most importantly, the knowledge that you did not give up.
Her Message to Anyone Unsure if They Should Foster
“Don’t be scared of being a foster carer. With training and support, it helps. We need foster carers. We need to save our children.”
If you’ve ever wondered why become a foster carer, maybe the real question is:
Why not you?
If you have space in your home, patience in your heart, and a willingness to learn, you could make a lifelong difference.
At Apex Fostering, you’re never alone. We walk with you every step of the way.
Ready to explore fostering?
Reach out for a relaxed, no-pressure conversation. We’ll answer your questions, talk through your concerns, and help you decide whether fostering could be right for you.
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