What Happens When Foster Children Turn 18?Apex Fostering at BBC Essex

This week, BBC Essex welcomed two amazing voices from Apex Fostering to their radio station: Joann, our dedicated Family Finding Officer and former foster carer, and Vanessa, one of our inspiring new foster carers based in Romford. Their conversation opened up something many people don’t talk enough about: what really happens when a foster child turns 18.

Vanessa’s received support as a foster carer

Vanessa first fostered over a decade ago, but after a lack of support, she stepped away. “Then my friend was fostering and said, ‘Why don’t you try again?’ I thought; I will. My kids are older now, I’ve got the space.” She’s now a year into fostering with Apex.

She spoke about her current placement: a primary school-aged child who arrived in crisis, with no routine, no structure. “Now they’re going to school, helping around the house, being a part of the family. Watching them bloom… it makes me proud.”

“They Just Aren’t Ready at 18”

Jo, who spent 20 years fostering (mostly teenage boys) explained that support often drops off too soon. “When they’re younger, they say, ‘I want to live on my own!’ But once they’re out, it hits them; it’s bills, decisions, isolation. They haven’t been set up to succeed, especially if they came into fostering later in their childhood, with limited time to practice these skills in a safe environment.”

Both Jo and Vanessa echoed what many carers feel: turning 18 doesn’t mean a young person is ready for adulthood, especially those with complex pasts.

“My son’s 24,” Vanessa shared, “and even he is struggling with bills and work and life. Imagine an 18-year-old who hasn’t had that support.”

“We Want to Keep Them, But We Just Can’t”

Jo also highlighted a common tension foster carers face: wanting to keep a young person in their home, but losing financial support once the child turns 18.

“You’d love to keep them, but you haven’t got the space, or the system makes it too hard.”

This leaves many young people, particularly those not in education, at risk of sudden independence with little real preparation.

Teaching Life Skills Early

Vanessa’s approach is all about preparing children early. “They get pocket money, they learn to clean and budget. It’s those little things that build confidence for the future.”

It’s a powerful reminder that fostering isn’t just about care - it’s about equipping children for life beyond the system.

“Fostering Changed My Life Too”

Jo and Vanessa both show us that fostering is not just about giving, but about equipping young people with life skills, and a safe home for their years before turning 18.

At Apex, we are building strong relationships with foster kids, carers, and local authorities to work towards a better transition out of foster care at the age of 18. 

If you’ve ever thought about fostering, even just a little, reach out. As Jo said on air, “You’re never alone with Apex.”

Learn more at www.apexfostering.uk or follow us @ApexFostering on social media.

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