On The Sofa with Sal: A Journey into Fostering

At Apex Fostering, we know the power of real stories. Stories can show how love, patience, and perseverance transform lives. In Episode 3 of On the Sofa with Sal, we sit down with Elwyn. His journey as a foster carer highlights the courage and care it takes to foster. He shares his experiences caring for children with additional needs and complex traumas.

From Family Conversations to Fostering Commitments

Elwyn and his wife first considered fostering when their own daughter felt lonely. That moment opened the door to a much bigger journey. With a child of their own suggesting fostering, the couple began to think about what it would mean to welcome others into their home.

“We love kids. And we love seeing the end product of raising children.”

Their journey was driven not just by love, but also by careful consideration. Elwyn explains how their daughter’s suggestion and family values led them into fostering. The decision was above all an expression of deep family commitment.

Fostering as a Male Carer: Navigating Concerns and Finding Confidence

Elwyn speaks candidly about being a male foster carer. Caring for female children who are not biologically related presents unique complexities.

“It’s a very delicate thing. You have to be careful. You’re dealing with young people, but also with their pasts, their families, and sometimes even allegations.”

Despite these challenges, Elwyn believes it’s a journey worth taking. This journey has strengthened his sense of purpose and deepened his empathy for the children he cares for.

Supporting Children with Additional Needs

Elwyn has welcomed multiple children into his home. Many have special needs or autism. He shares an emotional experience with a young boy who had severe communication difficulties:

“He couldn’t speak when he came to us. He wouldn’t eat well. But by the time he left, he was putting sentences together.”

These stories reflect the heart of what fostering can offer. It’s not just about providing structure; it’s about real healing, development, and growth.

Training and Support: What Makes It Possible

Elwyn credits ongoing training and support for his success as a foster carer:

“Training kept me on track and helped me make the right decisions. But the real key? Being able to call our social worker any time. Knowing we’re not alone.”

He emphasizes the importance of professional help, especially when supporting children with therapeutic or developmental needs. This network of support is vital for all foster carers.

The Power of Love in Foster Care

One of the most touching moments in the interview is Elwyn’s story of a teenage girl with complex trauma. She stayed with his family until she became an adult.

“She came to us at 14. We didn’t think she’d stay long. But she turned 18 with us… and in the end, she called me Dad.”

Through conflict and hardship, Elwyn and his wife remained committed. Their steadfast love transformed that young person’s life and made a lasting impact.

Why Apex?

Elwyn first met Apex founder Sali many years ago. He was impressed by the passion and clarity she brought to fostering.

“They made it feel possible. And over time, Apex gave us the support we needed to keep going – even when it was hard.”

This trust and encouragement became the foundation for years of meaningful fostering work. The support of Apex has been crucial in Elwyn's journey.

Advice to Others: “They Need You, Even If They Push You Away”

Fostering isn’t always easy. Elwyn doesn’t shy away from that fact. His message is loud and clear:

“There were times we wanted to give up. But we decided we’d battle it out. These kids need us, regardless of how they respond. Even when they scream ‘I hate you,’ you say, ‘I love you.’ That’s how you change lives.”

This perspective resonates with many foster carers. It speaks to the core of why they choose this path.

3 Words to Describe Fostering?

Adventurous. Rewarding. Challenging.

And to Elwyn, fostering is absolutely worth it.

Thinking About Fostering?

If you’ve ever wondered whether fostering is right for you, Elwyn’s story shows that you don’t have to be perfect — just committed.

Are you located in Cambridgeshire, Hertfordshire, Essex, Bedfordshire, Northamptonshire, Greater London, or nearby? We’d love to talk.

Watch the full episode here

Let's chat about fostering!