Fostering Siblings as a Single Carer

Fostering Siblings as a Single Carer, with Sonia - Episode 1, On The Sofa With Sal

On the Sofa with Sal, with guest Sonia

At Apex Fostering, we believe in the power of real stories - the ones that show how love, courage, and consistency can change a child’s life. In this first episode of ‘On the Sofa with Sal’, Apex Fostering founder Sali sits down with Sonia, a remarkable foster carer who’s not only supported multiple children, but kept siblings together, advocated fiercely for foster kids, and does it all as a single carer.

Introducing Foster Carer Sonia

Sali: Sonia, tell me something I don’t know about you.

Sonia: You know everything about me! I’m a foster carer, I think I’m a kind person, and I love my job.

Sali: And how long have you been fostering?

Sonia: About three years with Apex, but I’ve been fostering overall for around four and a half years. I remember when you first visited, I wasn’t sure yet. I had to make up my mind because I knew this would be a full-time job, and you need to have that heart. I had to get myself ready. I was scared.

Sali: And what was the process like for you?

Sonia: Honestly, it was interesting and educational. There were courses that really opened my eyes; I learned things I didn’t know. The process wasn’t as long as people say. It went quite well and quite fast.

Sali: Did you have any worries before you started?

Sonia: Not really. I already had kids, so I was familiar with the ups and downs of parenting. But the children I fostered were teenagers, and that did bring its own challenges. One of them was addicted to Fortnite, didn’t have boundaries, no proper sleep routine… That was hard. But I managed.

Sali: What helped you through those early challenges?

Sonia: I just kept reminding myself: I treat fostering kids the way I treat my own. I don’t think, “these are someone else’s children.” I give them the same care and consistency. That mindset makes it easier. Of course, there were times I could’ve given up; many times. But with the support I had, I managed. We all did.

A Fostering Success Story

Sali: You took on what many would call a huge commitment - four siblings. One of those children had broken down in several residential units. Can you tell us about that?

Sonia: Originally, I accepted three of the siblings. The fourth child was in a residential unit. He had already broken down in two or three placements, and no one wanted him. But I listened to him; he just wanted to be with his siblings. That’s all he asked for, but nobody was listening. With your help, I pleaded for him to come live with us. Everyone said he would be the most challenging. But look at the outcome now. He’s stable. He’s at school - after not attending for years. He’s part of the family.

Sali: What do you think helped turn things around?

Sonia: He just needed to be understood. I remember him saying to his social worker, “If you place me with Sonia, you won’t have all this trouble.” He kept his promise. But no one believed him at the time. He was acting out because he wanted stability. He wanted safety. He wanted his family.

Sali: And now he has all of that. It’s such a powerful story.

Sonia: Yes - and it shows that authorities need to listen to carers when we say we believe in a child. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

Fostering Siblings as Single Carer

Sali: You’ve done this on your own. That’s no small thing.

Sonia: It’s definitely challenging. It would be lovely to have a partner to share the load. But as a single carer, I’m managing. I’ve got my own kids, and they’ve been a big help. My social worker and Apex Fostering have supported me every step of the way. It’s not something every single person can do, but it is possible if you’ve got the heart.

Sali: What keeps you going?

Sonia: The children. When I go to their school and teachers tell me, “They talk about how much they love you.” When I see their drawings and they write, “Sonia, our mum.” That’s what keeps me going. I see how far they’ve come, from withdrawn and unsettled to happy and thriving.

Keeping Foster Siblings Together

Sali: You’ve cared for multiple sibling groups. Why is that important to you?

Sonia: Because sometimes, that’s all they have - each other. I put myself in their shoes. It’s heartbreaking to think of being split up from your brother or sister when you’re already going through so much. I believe we should try everything possible to keep siblings together before we even consider separation. If it really doesn’t work, then we adjust. But don’t break them up as the first option.

The Impact of Fostering - On Sonia and Her Children

Sali: How has fostering changed your life?

Sonia: It’s given me stability. It helps me provide for my family. I can look after my own children while supporting others. It’s brought purpose and structure into our home. And I think I inherited this heart from my mum - she looked after more than 300 children in Tanzania, helping young mothers get back into school. I grew up seeing what care looks like. It shaped me.

Sali: And your children?

Sonia: They’ve benefited too. They’re thriving. And they’ve learned empathy, patience, and so much more just by being part of this journey.

Why Apex?

Sonia: I spoke to a lot of agencies. But I chose Apex - because of you, Sali. You’ve got a real passion for this. You look after us. You genuinely care. That makes a difference. With Apex, I always feel seen and supported.

A Word to Anyone Thinking About Fostering

Sonia: Compassion is the most important thing. The will to help children. Fostering isn’t for everyone - but it can be for everyone, if you’re open to it. There are so many kids out there who just need a safe place. If you’ve got a spare room, think about how you could change a life.

Sali: What would you say to someone who’s still unsure?

Sonia: Please try it. Fostering is so rewarding. I’m caring for four amazing children, and I wouldn’t change a thing. If you’re thinking about it, speak to Sali. She’ll walk you through it. Together, we can change the world - one child at a time.

Inspired by Sonia’s story?

If you’ve ever wondered whether fostering is for you, let’s have a conversation. At Apex Fostering, we support you at every stage, with passion for creating loving homes where children - and you - thrive.

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