Fostering with Biological Children: Charlene’s Story
- Jul 27
- 3 min read
One of the biggest questions we hear from people thinking about fostering is:
"What about my own children?"
It's a completely understandable concern. Parents naturally want to protect their children and often worry that welcoming a foster child into their home could have a negative impact on family life.
In this episode of On the Sofa with Sal, experienced foster carer Charlene shares what really happened after she and her family decided to foster. Ten years later, her answer might surprise you.
"Nobody Had Acknowledged My Biological Child"
Before joining Apex, Charlene spoke with several fostering agencies. Although each explained the fostering process, something important was missing.
"When you came down my driveway, I thought, 'You're just my type of person.' The best thing was, you acknowledged my birth child. Nobody had done that until that point."
For Charlene, that was the moment she decided to foster with Apex.
Fostering isn't something one person does alone. It involves the whole household, and every family member deserves to feel included from the very beginning.
Can You Foster If You Already Have Children?
Charlene's son was just four years old when they began fostering.
"We didn't know if we could have any more children, and I didn't want him to grow up with no one because he kept asking me for a brother or sister."
Like many parents, people warned her that fostering would negatively affect her son.
Instead, something very different happened. Years later, Charlene asked him how fostering had affected his life. "He said, 'It's actually enriched my life.'"
Today, her family is a true blended fostering family, with birth children and foster children growing up together, sharing holidays, grandparents and everyday family life.
"They share relationships. They share grandparents. It's a perfect blended family."
Do Birth Children Benefit From Fostering?
Every family is different, and fostering isn't without challenges.
Charlene is honest that there have been difficult moments over the years. Like every family, they've faced situations that required patience, support and sometimes difficult decisions.
But despite those challenges, she wouldn't change her decision.
"I would say just go and do it. Especially if your children are young because they'll grow and mould into that lifestyle. They'll know no different."
Rather than losing out, Charlene believes her children have developed empathy, resilience and an understanding of others that will stay with them for life.
Why Support Makes Such a Difference
One message comes through repeatedly during Charlene's interview: no foster carer should ever feel like they're doing it alone.
After fostering with different agencies, she says the biggest difference at Apex has been feeling listened to and supported.
"The biggest thing is, don't hide in the dark. If you've got a problem, just reach out."
Today, Charlene actually supports other foster carers herself as one of Apex's Foster Carer Support Managers.
She regularly meets carers for coffee, checks in with them during difficult periods, and offers something only another foster carer truly can: lived experience.
"Sometimes you can't let all your feelings out to a social worker because they don't walk in your shoes."
It's this community of carers supporting one another that helps many families continue fostering successfully for years.
What About Finances?
Money is rarely the reason someone chooses to foster, but it's naturally something families need to consider.
Charlene explains that fostering has actually given her family greater financial stability and flexibility.
"We get paid weekly, which makes things very easy to manage."
She also highlights something many people don't realise: fostering can become a full-time career that allows you to spend more time at home while making a genuine difference to children's lives.
More importantly, it gave her the freedom to be present for the children who needed her most.
One Decision Changed Many Lives
Looking back over more than a decade of fostering, Charlene's proudest moments aren't about awards or recognition. They're about seeing children thrive.
Whether that's watching a little girl learn to ride her bike, seeing a child finally feel safe enough to call somewhere home, or hearing her own son say that fostering enriched his life, each milestone reminds her why she chose this journey.
Her advice for anyone wondering whether fostering could work for their family is simple:
"If you've got a spare room and a big heart, there's nothing stopping you."
Thinking About Fostering?
If you've been wondering whether fostering could work alongside your own family life, we'd love to have a conversation.
There's no pressure and no commitment, just the opportunity to ask questions and hear what fostering is really like.
At Apex Fostering, we believe fostering works best when the whole family feels supported, because when carers thrive, children do too.
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